HOW IMPORTANT IS SEX IN A MARRIAGE? AND TEACHING THE FACT OF SEX AND SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT TO THE CHILDREN.

To achieve a successful marriage, couple also need to understand and accept the differences between two genders. Couples sometimes become frustrated with each other and wish that their partner was more like them. Knowing and being able to tolerate the differences between men and women helps a lot in marriage. "How important is sex in a marriage?" Sex is a natural instinct and if enjoyed within its proper boundaries can bring about great happiness. Sex helps to keep a marriage glowing, and is an important and vital area that keep a marriage together. It creates intimacy, a shared experience between two people which no one else is party to. It makes the relationship precious, and private. The important thing to appreciate here is the fact that men and women see sex differently. While men may view sex as an intense physical activity, 'women do not. For her, it involves an interaction with the man she loves', that is with his gentleness, his care and concern. Understanding the fact that women need intimacy and closeness makes the sexual activity a lot more meaningful and fulfilling. Sex is much more than the gratification of an appetite. "It is the basis of an intimate lifelong companionship, and the means of bringing into the world children whom we love and cherish as long as we live." Through the ages we have learned that love and mutual respect must be the basis of close intimacy between the sexes. Sex, like any other tendency in man, must be regulated by reason. Man, not being governed by instincts like lesser animals, would find his tendencies running wild were he not to regulate them with reason. "There is a saying: Like fire, sex is a good servant but a bad master." A society grows through a network of relationships which we mutually intertwined and inter-dependent. Every relationship is a wholehearted commitment to support and to protect others in group or community. Marriage plays a very important part in this strong web of relationship of giving support and protection. A good marriage should grow and develop gradually from understanding and not impulse, from true loyalty and not just sheer indulgence. The institution of marriage provides a fine basis for the development of culture, a delightful association of two individuals to be nurtured, and to be free from loneliness, deprivation and fear. In marriage, each partner develops a complementary role, giving strength and moral courage to each other, with each manifesting a supportive and appreciative recognition to the other's skills. There must be no thought of man or woman being superior - each is complementary to the other, a partnership of equality, exuding gentleness, generosity, calm and dedication and most important of all, self sacrifice. "SEX EDUCATION IS IMPORTANT": Many people oppose sex education for children because they think that "once you tell them about it, they will go out and abuse it." Teaching children the facts of sex sexual development needs to be done with care, sensitivity and in a holistic manner. Coping with changes in sexual development is an issue every child must face, and the challenge is even more critical for children during their early formative years. Educators and parents must therefore regard sexuality as part of human drives and needs that must be correctly channeled. The necessity for giving correct information about sexual development to children is of paramount importance. Children nowadays are exposed to knowledge about "sex through the mass media (often with gory details), books, through the internet and also from their peers, and if they are not thought to differentiate between what is appropriate and what is not, they might end up exhibiting inappropriate behaviour." No parents will ever want their children to obtain information or sexual development from the gutter. Parents can impart knowledge of sex to their children but such information needs to be tailored to the child's level of understanding - in this case, the mental age, which may not correspond to the child's chronological age. Children are very innocent and can easily be victims of sexual abuse in the hands of unscrupulous adults. The child may not even realize that he is being used as an object to gratify the deviant sexual needs of adults. One important area is the need to inform children as to what constitute!... "Appropriate and inappropriate touching." The importance of giving such awareness to children is stressed on parents. "The child needs to know who is allowed to touch him or her and when, and where; What a doctor can touch, situations the child should avoid, and how best to stop inappropriate conduct in the classroom. "Parents themselves need to be aware that inappropriate touching could also happen between relatives." For instance... Parents usually tell their children to "beware of strangers," yet studies have shown that in child sexual abuse cases, the majority of abusers are in fact known to the child, or are members of child's own family. As with other children in society, children require open lines of communication with their parents. This would include openness in discussing issues connected with sex. If any untoward physical contact has occurred they should be comfortable in telling their parents about it, instead of being too ashamed or too afraid to reveal details. "Sex education is important because one cannot expect teenagers to follow rules blindly without knowing why must followed them." One of the subjects they should be educated about is why they should abstain from sex until after marriage. "Many people oppose sex education for children because they think that "once you tell them about it, they will go out and abuse it." It is significant to note that "in Switzerland, sex education is taught in kindergartents and that country has the lowest number of teenage pregnancies in the world." What is vitally important is that children be taught responsible sexual behaviour from the time they are ready for such instruction. "A sound sexual education will save the child untold stress from guilt, fear, remorse and retribution in the future." From Empty Hands, A.Rahman bin Mahadi Labis, Johore. Tel: 016-602 0321. 29 January 2013. Next Topics: 1. "Tersembunyinya Sepohon Pokok Di Dalam Sebiji Benih Yang Kecil." 2. "This Universe Belongs To All."