BUILDING A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

There are no short - cuts to happiness in marriage. No two human beings can possibly live together in an intimate emotional relationship for a long period of time without having some misunderstanding or friction from time to time. In marriage, both the husband and wife must think more of the partnership than they do of themselves. This partnership is an interweaving of interests, and sacrifies will have to be made for the sake of both parties. It is from mutual understanding and concern that security and contentment in marriage can be established. In a successful marriage, a partner must not always try to get things his or own way. This brings to mind a humorous saying - "Man has his will but woman has her way." There is only one path to be trodden by both, it may be uneven, bumpy and sometimes difficult, but it is always a 'mutual path'. A happy marriage is not one in which we are to exist with eyes closed. We see fault as well as virtues, and we should accept the fact that no one is perfect. "A husband and wife must learn to share the happiness and pain in their daily lives. Mutual understanding is the secret formula of a happy marriage." Marriage is a blessing, but unfortunately, many people treat it otherwise due to a lack of correct communication and understanding. Most of the marital troubles and worries which normally arise are due to an unwillingness of one partner to compromise and be patient with the other. The golden role to avoid a minor misunderstanding being blown out of proportion is to be patient, tolerant, and understanding. Human beings are emotional and hence are liable to get into arguments which lead them to be angry. Husbands and wives should do their utmost for both not to be angry at the same time. This is the golden rule for a happy married life. If both parties are not angry at the same time, problem can easily be resolved by adopting the noble spirit of patience, tolerance and understanding. The husband should treat his wife with respect, understanding and consideration and not as a servant nor as a doll in his hands. Although he may be regarded as the bread-winner of the family, it is also his duty to help his wife with the household work whenever he is free. The wife on the other hand, should not always nag or grumble at her husband over trivial matter, if he really has certain shortcomings. She should try to talk with him and point out his mistakes. A spouse should try to tolerate and handle many things without bothering. The partner, especially when there are problems affecting one's career. If one is inclined towards jealousy, one must try to restrain suspicions over the partner's movements since they may not at all be justifiable. "Mutual respect and trust, are of paramount importance in a happy Union." Being Diplomatic. There was a very hot tempered woman who always scolded her husband for minor mistakes by saying, "You are a stupid idiot." The husband was very tolerant man and kept quiet when he was scolded. However, one day, when the wife shouted, "You are a stupid idiot," the husband said, "I think you are right. If I am not a stupid idiot, do you think I would ever have married a women like you?" From the day onward she never uttered such words. Sex In Marriage Sex should be given its due place in a happy marriage. "Like fire, sex is a good servant but can be bad master." It should neither be unhealthily repressed nor morbidly exaggerated. The desire for sex, like any other desire, must be regulated by reason. Although it is an important element in the happiness of most married couples. Please note: It is necessary to understand that one can be happy without giving sex a paramount role. On the other hand, one can have a good sex life and still be unhappy. Real love is not just physical, it is a 'SPIRITUAL COMMUNION' a meeting of minds. Please remember ! Sex is much more than physical gratification. It is the basis for an intimate life-long companionship. Down through the ages, love and mutual respect have been shown to be the basis for close intimacy between the sexes. The definition of intimacy is the sharing of feelings, not information. Couples who are not intimate will tend to talk of frivolous subjects like the weather, the latest TV shows or what to eat for dinner. They never make it a point to let each other know if they are really happy, unhappy, frightened, worried or any other such intimate feelings. They are also not interested to know how their partner really feels. The married couple should make every effort to cultivate the timeless virtues of love, fidelity and decency. Real growth only comes through the development of these virtues. None can repeal the cosmic moral law of cause and effect, of the lasting unity of all human beings. The hope of personal growth and harmony in society lies in the recognition of this basic law, rather than. Surrendering oneself to base and coarse animal instincts which only bring suffering to those whom we dearly love. Self respect, human dignity or humane qualities are eroding in modern society. There is a saying that a marriage between a bad husband and a bad wife is like one vampire existing with another. Marriage between a bad men and a good women is like a vampire, existing with an angel. Married life between a good man and a bad woman is like an angel living with a vampire. Married life between a good man and a good woman is like an angel living with another angel. There is a joke about married life by saying; "A good marriage would be between a blind wife and deaf husband." Having a good marriage: "Marriage resembles a pair of scissors joined together so that they cannot be separated. Often they move in opposite directions. But woe betide anyone who comes between them." "The Chain of wedlock is so heavy that it takes two to carry it." Happy married life: "Some believe that marriages are made in heaven. But when marriages are badly handled, they could just as well have been made in hell." From Empty Hands, A. Rahman bin Mahadi, Labis, Johore. 016-6020321/017-7161330. 17 MEI 2014. Next Topic: 1. Bagaimana Hendak Mengatasi Cemburu". 2. "The Human Aura".